Well, as you can see I am writing a post after a very long time..and so if you will excuse me, this is just a warm up observation of mine and not anything fancy.
I am a typical Indian girl, who grew up watching SRK's DDLJ, dil to paagal hai, dancing to the tunes of 'bazigar oo baazigar', then going on to read the romantic classics of Jane Austen, Bronte sisters, Georgette Heyer etc. And so as you may concur with my taste, I dreamed of Mr. Darcy, that serious , sophisticated, rich and high intellect, that sexy arrogance, ooh lalaa. and yours truly obviously was guilty of considering herself Elizabeth in the making.
Well, a little fast forward and I was in my UG college, where my dreams for my other half were much more real worldish (but still not realistic). Now my 'man' had to be well versed with books, good at sports and not just any sports but football/lawn tennis (for some reason, and please forgive me, I never considered cricket macho enough). He should have been understanding, with good taste in music and good at having arguments with (arguments act as stress-busters for weird me). And yes, since I am dusky, I wanted him to be fair, atleast 5 ft 8 inches tall. Now when I ponder upon my silly wishhful thinkings of that time, I realize how not only unrealistic but also something lacking the most important and defining ingredient of love was my list, it wasnt a surprise that I never found one and could never value all those people who considered me worthy enough for this.
Quite late in terms of understanding these complex things, I started analyzing friends, people around me and their relationships. I started observing, but all the time I used to think what was this guy/girl thinking before saying yes to her/him. I mean , lets say a couple in front of me, and I would say clearly and very logically these two people look so incompatible, one talks of Elliot and Shakespeare while the other abhors poems to his heart's content, one cares so much about every detailing in almost everything and anything while the other is careless to the core. No its not that they are completely opposite and hence follow 'opposites attract', its just that there is something logically incompatible about them. Or sometimes I would be like, whhaat, how can these two mature people be happy and moony eyed over some bizarre kiddish stuff. Or when I would see my friends talking for hours on phone about, well just about nothing, I would just wonder how foolish they have become, dont they know they are sounding like knit-wits. Well, I didnt know then the delight of talking just about nothing to someone you love.
I used to think perhaps these people were just too eager to get into this complex thing that they never really pondered over their decisions, all in a hurry to taste this. And whenever I would witness a breakup, my belief was further strengthened that people just dont think before jumping into this, this was all wrong from step 1, they being so different in nature and demeanor, a match made in hell, what took them so long to realize, every action must be thought of in terms of its consequences before executing it. Also on seeing my helpless friends burn in the pain of breakup and its after math, I strongly started believing that No happiness, yes , No HAPPINESS in this world is worthy enough of such excruciating pains.
It came in slowly but it struck me hard, how my complete foundation about relationship had been wrong , really wrong all along. Thanks to some friends of mine who never failed in proving me wrong. Never failed to show me how irrationally beautiful somethings are and obviously to some personal and more so of my friends' experiences when looked upon more closely. I still remember one of my friends rebuking me at my take on relationships, calling me commitment phobic and saying if I were a true romantic and daring and strong as I often project myself to be, I would let lose myself, drown and experience its beauty.
Some of my readers I am sure must be feeling a sense of victory now. Yes, I agree I was wrong all along. And this article is specially for those staunch believer like me. I used to think, more than love being completely blind, its most illogical and irrational, but then these are the definitions for people whose view of love is peripheral.
Love is logical, and yes very much indeed, infact its a visionary, something that is able to see the core of happiness lying under the false layers of its pretense. Why else would it make you choose a partner who looks completely incompatible and weird with you. But this is as stated before, an illogical decision only at the periphery, because we never thought about the most important thing which is the true and the only important ingredient in the making of a successful relationship, the salt to your most favorite dish. And that is the feeling of trust, one-ness, that self satiating feeling of rejoice in completely submitting yourself to the other person who will always be by your side, loving you in your ups and downs, in your ugliness and sorrows, one to whom you can be your worst and still would never be insecure of that love, that one person you never believed who could care for you more than you do and most importantly make you fall in love with yourself like never before. This is what people in love actually experience, and to the lesser beings like me , we only see the illusionist part that covers the beautiful truth.
And hence here I stand to request my readers just one thing- let yourself lose, go drown in this feeling for once, twice, thrice, a million times, experience the innocence, that butterfly effect, if it lasts forever, awesome, if it doesnt, you atleast experienced that awesomeness and why do you regret it now, somethings dont last forever, but remember till whatever time it was with you, it made you feel on top of the world, respect and embrace that feeling, forgive & forget, and move on to find something much more blissful. Because yes sometimes some Happiness are worth suffering for.
Life is too Short.. Enjoy to the Fullest..Love yourself and every moment you breathe.
I am a typical Indian girl, who grew up watching SRK's DDLJ, dil to paagal hai, dancing to the tunes of 'bazigar oo baazigar', then going on to read the romantic classics of Jane Austen, Bronte sisters, Georgette Heyer etc. And so as you may concur with my taste, I dreamed of Mr. Darcy, that serious , sophisticated, rich and high intellect, that sexy arrogance, ooh lalaa. and yours truly obviously was guilty of considering herself Elizabeth in the making.
Well, a little fast forward and I was in my UG college, where my dreams for my other half were much more real worldish (but still not realistic). Now my 'man' had to be well versed with books, good at sports and not just any sports but football/lawn tennis (for some reason, and please forgive me, I never considered cricket macho enough). He should have been understanding, with good taste in music and good at having arguments with (arguments act as stress-busters for weird me). And yes, since I am dusky, I wanted him to be fair, atleast 5 ft 8 inches tall. Now when I ponder upon my silly wishhful thinkings of that time, I realize how not only unrealistic but also something lacking the most important and defining ingredient of love was my list, it wasnt a surprise that I never found one and could never value all those people who considered me worthy enough for this.
Quite late in terms of understanding these complex things, I started analyzing friends, people around me and their relationships. I started observing, but all the time I used to think what was this guy/girl thinking before saying yes to her/him. I mean , lets say a couple in front of me, and I would say clearly and very logically these two people look so incompatible, one talks of Elliot and Shakespeare while the other abhors poems to his heart's content, one cares so much about every detailing in almost everything and anything while the other is careless to the core. No its not that they are completely opposite and hence follow 'opposites attract', its just that there is something logically incompatible about them. Or sometimes I would be like, whhaat, how can these two mature people be happy and moony eyed over some bizarre kiddish stuff. Or when I would see my friends talking for hours on phone about, well just about nothing, I would just wonder how foolish they have become, dont they know they are sounding like knit-wits. Well, I didnt know then the delight of talking just about nothing to someone you love.
I used to think perhaps these people were just too eager to get into this complex thing that they never really pondered over their decisions, all in a hurry to taste this. And whenever I would witness a breakup, my belief was further strengthened that people just dont think before jumping into this, this was all wrong from step 1, they being so different in nature and demeanor, a match made in hell, what took them so long to realize, every action must be thought of in terms of its consequences before executing it. Also on seeing my helpless friends burn in the pain of breakup and its after math, I strongly started believing that No happiness, yes , No HAPPINESS in this world is worthy enough of such excruciating pains.
It came in slowly but it struck me hard, how my complete foundation about relationship had been wrong , really wrong all along. Thanks to some friends of mine who never failed in proving me wrong. Never failed to show me how irrationally beautiful somethings are and obviously to some personal and more so of my friends' experiences when looked upon more closely. I still remember one of my friends rebuking me at my take on relationships, calling me commitment phobic and saying if I were a true romantic and daring and strong as I often project myself to be, I would let lose myself, drown and experience its beauty.
Some of my readers I am sure must be feeling a sense of victory now. Yes, I agree I was wrong all along. And this article is specially for those staunch believer like me. I used to think, more than love being completely blind, its most illogical and irrational, but then these are the definitions for people whose view of love is peripheral.
Love is logical, and yes very much indeed, infact its a visionary, something that is able to see the core of happiness lying under the false layers of its pretense. Why else would it make you choose a partner who looks completely incompatible and weird with you. But this is as stated before, an illogical decision only at the periphery, because we never thought about the most important thing which is the true and the only important ingredient in the making of a successful relationship, the salt to your most favorite dish. And that is the feeling of trust, one-ness, that self satiating feeling of rejoice in completely submitting yourself to the other person who will always be by your side, loving you in your ups and downs, in your ugliness and sorrows, one to whom you can be your worst and still would never be insecure of that love, that one person you never believed who could care for you more than you do and most importantly make you fall in love with yourself like never before. This is what people in love actually experience, and to the lesser beings like me , we only see the illusionist part that covers the beautiful truth.
And hence here I stand to request my readers just one thing- let yourself lose, go drown in this feeling for once, twice, thrice, a million times, experience the innocence, that butterfly effect, if it lasts forever, awesome, if it doesnt, you atleast experienced that awesomeness and why do you regret it now, somethings dont last forever, but remember till whatever time it was with you, it made you feel on top of the world, respect and embrace that feeling, forgive & forget, and move on to find something much more blissful. Because yes sometimes some Happiness are worth suffering for.
Life is too Short.. Enjoy to the Fullest..Love yourself and every moment you breathe.
Will you mend your decisions if you get a chance? Or it's a thing of the past and you have moved on?
ReplyDelete